A still from the film
By Alisha Coelho
When 'Piranha 3D' released in 2010, we thought the franchise had officially hit the bottom of the ocean but like a bad egg, it's surfaced again. Even with a Baywatch lifeguard around, it's not safe to tread the waters that 'Piranha 3DD' swims in. True to the title's promise, there's certainly a lot of boobage on display - large ones, moderately-sized ones and even David Hasselhoff's. But even all that titillation won't seem worth your while, thanks to gags that seem to have been created for the most primitive of intelligent life forms on earth.
What's it about?
After a deadly piranha attack on the residents of Lake Victoria, the town's tourism trade dries up. Hoping to draw in visitors again, a local water park owner decides to revamp his facility, charging special entry rates for hot moms and hiring staff to hose bikini-clad girls down. His step daughter and marine biology student, Maddy (Danielle Panabaker), returns to the town for summer break and at the same time, a school of baby piranhas hatch in a nearby lake. Maddy and her friends try to convince her step father to delay the opening of the park to avoid another bloodbath, but he fails to listen to reason and now it's up to the protagonist and her friends to save the day.
The killer fish in the movie are less scarier than props in a Ramsay Brothers production and this reviewer could count on one hand, the number of gags she found funny. Hasselhoff's cameo as a megalomaniac is a tiny bright spot in the otherwise brain-numbing proceedings, but even he can't keep this movie afloat.
What to do?
While 'Jaws' was the crown jewel of killer fish movies, this flick is just jaw-droppingly bad. If it isn't already clear, do not waste your good money on 'Piranha 3DD'.
in.com rating: .5/5
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