n18
NEWS|LOL 
   |

About author

The LOL-ster

The LOL-ster

Of wisecracks, giggle-fests and all things that tickle your funny bone

Sachin Tendulkar will never play an ODI again. We all knew this moment was coming, but that does not make it any easier to bear. Never again will we see that unmistakable stance in an ODI, never again will we skip school/college/work to watch the Little Master at work, never again will opposition bowlers have to deal with panic attacks.

At the end of such a glittering career, any tribute will fall short. Here’s the best we could do; some facts are exaggerated, but they still do no justice to India's one universal God.

1. For a bowler, dismissing Sachin is like winning in the Sikkim Super Lotto: very improbable, very difficult, and 99.99% luck

2. One small retirement for man (though Sachin is technically a God), 1.2 billion giant retirements (from ODI cricket watching) for mankind

3. Since Sachinism is the universal religion, bowlers bowling to Sachin sometimes find themselves thinking: "Dear Lord Sachin, please let me get Sachin out"

4. A wand is not the only wooden hand-held object with which magic can be done. There's one more - Sachin's bat

5. England and Pakistan have got an early Christmas gift this year. They won't have to bowl to Sachin

6. Einstein once said of Gandhi: "Generations to come, it may well be, will scarce believe that such a man as this one ever in flesh and blood walked upon this Earth." This is equally true of Sachin

7. Now, you can buy a slot to advertise during an India ODI for Rs. 5 per minute (down from Rs. 5 Crore). Who will watch if Sachin is not there?

8. If you go to any second hand store today, it will be flooded with TVs. There's no reason to watch anymore

9. For Team India to replace Sachin, they will have to recruit Superman and Batman, make them have a baby, and get Rajinikanth to train that baby. For 20 years

10. Terrorism takes place on the cricket field, too. Just watch Sachin’s double century, and see how scared the bowlers were to bowl to him that day

11. The Rajya Sabha is considering changing its name to Rajya Sachin, after its most glorious member
 
12. Watching videos of Sachin cover drives is the only known cure for AIDS

13. 99% of all stories our generation tells our children will begin with "Once upon a time there was Sachin..."

14. For those saying Sachin doesn't deserve the Bharat Ratna - the reason most people know about the Bharat Ratna is Sachin. So technically, Sachin recognized and awarded the Bharat Ratna first

15. The best gift our parents gave us was giving birth to us during the era of Sachin

16. The ICC should retire the ODI format out of respect to Sachin

MUST SEE
Sachin's unforgettable off-field moments
Sachin's greatest ODI moments

Tag : #Indian Cricket Team #Sachin Tendulkar #ODI retirement

LOL: Reasons why team India lost the World T20 finals

from in.com

LOL: Reasons why team India lost the World T20 finals

What was the reason that an almost-perfect looking team India surrendered to the Lankan lions in the WC finals, you ask? Here are 5 probable reasons why we feel India lost:


LOL: How team India can win matches abroad

from in.com

LOL: How team India can win matches abroad

India is a tiger at home, and a bacterium abroad. After our embarrassing performances in South Africa and New Zealand, questions are being asked about whether our team is truly ready to play a cricket match anywhere outside the sub-continent. We think there is light at the end of the tunnel - we think that these 6 ideas will help India rise from the ashes and become a tiger everywhere.

What crazy thing will Justin Bieber do next?

from in.com

What crazy thing will Justin Bieber do next?

We're so worried about his recent string of crazy activities that we think he might go too far soon. He might do one of these things, for instance:

5 celebs we want to see Arnab interview

from in.com

5 celebs we want to see Arnab interview

After Arnab Goswami took Rahul Gandhi’s case in an interview (there’s really no other way of putting it) on Monday, we think that Koffee with Karan is way too boring. If we wanted to know random celeb gossip, we’d just read their tweets. But the way Arnab grills people, you have to admire him

Why did Jai Ho fail to break box office records?

from in.com

Why did Jai Ho fail to break box office records?

A few days after Jai Ho's release, it is apparent that Salman's latest film will not touch the heights achieved by Chennai Express, Krrish 3, or Dhoom 3. It might not even touch Dabangg-2 or Bodyguard, and this is in 2014, when every other film hits 100 crores domestically. So why did Jai Ho fail to break all the box office records we thought it would? We aren't sure, but here are a few reasons.

Implications of WiFi on Air India aircraft

from in.com

Implications of WiFi on Air India aircraft

Air India finally did something to make us sit up and take notice. They announced that they would provide wi-fi facilities to people on board their aircraft. This is great, but we don't think they've thought through some of the funnier consequences of their decision.

And the Jai Ho LOL-scars go to...

from in.com

And the Jai Ho LOL-scars go to...

There are three constants in life in India: the petrol prices will keep rising, Arnab and Manmohan will always be opposites, and Salman Khan movies will always stick to a formula. Whether he's a cop, a bodyguard, or an Aam Aadmi, he's basically Rajinikanth in a different body.