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The LOL-ster

The LOL-ster

Of wisecracks, giggle-fests and all things that tickle your funny bone

Photo: AFP

God should tell all the (mostly fake) sadhus in India to take a lesson from Manmohan Singh, and shut up. The latest godman to display symptoms of foot-in-mouth disease is Asaram Bapu, who said that the Delhi gangrape victim was to blame. According to him, she should have treated the animals who violated and killed her as brothers, and then they would have stopped.

Here's what he said:

"Jinone galti ki.. sharabi they.

Agar us kanya ne saraswati mantra liya hota, guru diksha li hoti.. toh boy friend ke saath picture dekh kar jis kisi bas mein ghusti nahin.

Agar ghus bhi gayi.. toh 6 sharabi the.. Bhagwan ka naam leti aur ek ka haath pakadti "Tere ko toh mai maanti hoon."

Do ko bolti "Bhaiya! Main abla hoon. Tum mere bhai ho. Dharam ke bhai ho."

Bhagwan ka naam lekar haath pakadti, pair pakadti.. itna durachar nahi hota.

Galti ek taraf se nahi hoti."

Many might think that this man should have an iron rod inserted into his intestines and then see how brotherly his feelings are. And they would probably be right. But let's first examine what could possibly have made him say such a thing.

1. He had a bet with a friend: On whether he could disgrace the ‘Bapu’ name. He had to say something pretty extreme to drag down the Mahatma's awesomeness, but he did a good job

2. No other work: In winter, there aren't many foreign hippies for sadhus to scam, so they take to the media and say inappropriate things

3. He is a participant in the new reality show: 'Baba Ramdev se bada namoona kaun?' With his recent statement, he’s got to be a favourite, though Mr. Bhagwat might give him competition

4. Till now, he was sitting idle: Very few of us have heard of Asaram Bapu before today. This is because he was following what his name sounds like (‘Ass aaram’, literally sitting on his backside), but he has now risen above his name and become prominent. We wish he hadn’t

5. He actually believes that men are superior to women: And his honest opinion is that women should always be submissive and meek. He’s not being evil, just stupid. And we would all prefer a clever enemy to a stupid friend

6. He is jealous of women: All his life, Asaram has been growing his hair long. But whatever he does, most women have better and longer hair than him, and he has held this grudge so long that it has driven him insane now

7. He wants the death penalty: Which the juvenile criminal is escaping, for himself. If he's not careful, someone will give it to him. But, of course, we all know the likely real reason, and it's not remotely funny.

8. He is a godman who is hungry for publicity so that he can scam lakhs instead of thousands, and is using a horrific, inhuman crime like the Delhi rape to get cheap mileage.

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If you know why Asaram Bapu said what he did, tell us in the Comments Section.

Tag : #Chauvinist #Asaram Bapu #sexist quote

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