Another week, another celeb wedding. Even though these happen so often, our interest in them will never grow less; we will keep searching the net for even one 'exclusive' photograph from the function, and shortlist names for the future baby of the happily married couple. Some of us even bet on how long they’ll stay married. If only we gave so much thought to our own marriages, we’d all be happier.
We’re so obsessed with celeb weddings, that they have a special meaning for us. The truth might be very different. Here are a few expectations we have, and the reality of those expectations:
1. Expectation: Celebs have no other work than posing for press photographs after the wedding
Reality: After the wedding, celebs feel like everyone else who’s just been married – they want a cold shower and food before they die. Photos are low on their list
2. Expectation: Every celeb on earth shows up for another celeb’s wedding
Reality: This just doesn’t happen. You have celebs that wanted to marry one of the people being married, so they don’t come (Salman, here’s looking at you). You have celeb rivalries. You have busy celebs. In fact, if you get 3-4 to attend, that’s big. Unless you’re Rajinikanth, of course. In that case, celebs from as far back as the year 2000 BC will attend
3. Expectation: The gifts at celeb weddings are the greatest things ever given by one human being to two others
Reality: Celeb wedding gifts are decided like normal wedding gifts – two nights before the wedding, you realize you haven’t done anything, and pick one of a picture of some deity, or a gift card, or some household utility
4. Expectation: Information about the outfits that the bride and groom are wearing is vitally important, and should be brought to us by the CIA and FBI well in advance
Riteish Deshmukh and Genelia D'souza. Photo: Twitter
Reality: Contrary to popular belief, we cannot cure cancer or eradicate poverty by finding out exactly what kind of sari she’s wearing, or how many lakhs his sherwani cost. So we’ll just have to wait till the wedding is done to find out what Vidya and Siddharth looked like
5. Expectation: It is easy to gate crash a celeb wedding
Reality: This is not like a normal wedding, where you can walk in and tell the boy’s side people you’re from the girl’s side, and vice versa. If you have an invitation card with the correct electronic code, you’re in. Else a fiery laser will incinerate you
6. Expectation: All celeb marriages are made in Heaven
Reality: Celeb marriages are like all other weddings – they are made on Earth, some become Heavenly, some degenerate into Hell
7. Expectation: If we watch footage of a celeb wedding, our own lives will become happier and more interesting
Reality: After we watch footage of a celeb wedding, we eat our usual meals, go to sleep and wake up at 6 AM to reach the same old place of work in time not to get fired
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