The Indian Rupee just passed the once-unimaginable exchange rate landmark of 60 to the dollar. Everyone is making jokes about the fact that the rupee can retire now, but very few are thinking of the deeper implications. Now that the rupee is a retiree, what will its old age be like? Will it be comfortable? Will it get worse as it gets older? Will it be abandoned by its near and dear ones to spend its twilight years in an old age home?
Well, we have the answer. Here's what the retirement life of the rupee will look like:
1. It will hang around with contemporaries: A lot of people who turn 60 start spending time with people their age. The INR will, therefore, need to make friends with currencies that are equally weak. Zimbabwe might be a good place to start.
2. It will take up 'old person' hobbies: Mainly, the rupee will spend most of every day playing rummy or housie and complaining about its aches and pains. If it loses money at any of these games, it had better pay in dollars, though. Paying in rupees isn't fun any more.
3. It will start telling stories: Of how glorious its earlier life was, when the exchange rate was only 40, and how India's economy was actually strong then, instead of having been destroyed by short term economic thinking and endemic corruption.
4. It will become forgetful: And think that the exchange rate was always more than 60, and that there was never a time when we actually had a currency and an economy that meant something at all.
5. It will fall sick: When we say 'sick', we don't mean generally sick, because that is the case even today. No, inflation and corruption will one day make the rupee sick like Nelson Mandela, and its survival will be in question.
6. It will die: At the ripe old exchange rate of 85, and then India will be forced to use potatoes as currency.
7. It will be cremated: As we realize that our precious 'money' is of no use in the world economy any more, we will all be forced to burn our notes in public and melt down our coins, and that will be a fitting end to a once-proud currency that even had its own symbol.
When do you think the rupee is going to hit the century mark? Tell us in the Comments Section!
India is a tiger at home, and a bacterium abroad. After our embarrassing performances in South Africa and New Zealand, questions are being asked about whether our team is truly ready to play a cricket match anywhere outside the sub-continent. We think there is light at the end of the tunnel - we think that these 6 ideas will help India rise from the ashes and become a tiger everywhere.
We're so worried about his recent string of crazy activities that we think he might go too far soon. He might do one of these things, for instance:
After Arnab Goswami took Rahul Gandhi’s case in an interview (there’s really no other way of putting it) on Monday, we think that Koffee with Karan is way too boring. If we wanted to know random celeb gossip, we’d just read their tweets. But the way Arnab grills people, you have to admire him
A few days after Jai Ho's release, it is apparent that Salman's latest film will not touch the heights achieved by Chennai Express, Krrish 3, or Dhoom 3. It might not even touch Dabangg-2 or Bodyguard, and this is in 2014, when every other film hits 100 crores domestically. So why did Jai Ho fail to break all the box office records we thought it would? We aren't sure, but here are a few reasons.
Air India finally did something to make us sit up and take notice. They announced that they would provide wi-fi facilities to people on board their aircraft. This is great, but we don't think they've thought through some of the funnier consequences of their decision.
There are three constants in life in India: the petrol prices will keep rising, Arnab and Manmohan will always be opposites, and Salman Khan movies will always stick to a formula. Whether he's a cop, a bodyguard, or an Aam Aadmi, he's basically Rajinikanth in a different body.
Yesterday, Aamir Khan tweeted a picture that went viral – it had him along with Salman Khan seemingly taking a leak into some plants. We’re surprised the normally intellectual Aamir did something like this, and sure that Sallu Bhai is sitting embarrassed somewhere. Here are the next few celebs we think Aamir will embarrass on Twitter, and how: