The Indian Rupee just passed the once-unimaginable exchange rate landmark of 60 to the dollar. Everyone is making jokes about the fact that the rupee can retire now, but very few are thinking of the deeper implications. Now that the rupee is a retiree, what will its old age be like? Will it be comfortable? Will it get worse as it gets older? Will it be abandoned by its near and dear ones to spend its twilight years in an old age home?
Well, we have the answer. Here's what the retirement life of the rupee will look like:
1. It will hang around with contemporaries: A lot of people who turn 60 start spending time with people their age. The INR will, therefore, need to make friends with currencies that are equally weak. Zimbabwe might be a good place to start.
2. It will take up 'old person' hobbies: Mainly, the rupee will spend most of every day playing rummy or housie and complaining about its aches and pains. If it loses money at any of these games, it had better pay in dollars, though. Paying in rupees isn't fun any more.
3. It will start telling stories: Of how glorious its earlier life was, when the exchange rate was only 40, and how India's economy was actually strong then, instead of having been destroyed by short term economic thinking and endemic corruption.
4. It will become forgetful: And think that the exchange rate was always more than 60, and that there was never a time when we actually had a currency and an economy that meant something at all.
5. It will fall sick: When we say 'sick', we don't mean generally sick, because that is the case even today. No, inflation and corruption will one day make the rupee sick like Nelson Mandela, and its survival will be in question.
6. It will die: At the ripe old exchange rate of 85, and then India will be forced to use potatoes as currency.
7. It will be cremated: As we realize that our precious 'money' is of no use in the world economy any more, we will all be forced to burn our notes in public and melt down our coins, and that will be a fitting end to a once-proud currency that even had its own symbol.
When do you think the rupee is going to hit the century mark? Tell us in the Comments Section!
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