An era of Indian television has drawn to a close. The inspiration for Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, and God, has quit the show that he ran with an iron hand for 15 years. Yes, ACP Pradyuman is leaving CID, to make way for ACP Digvijay.
ACP has been such an integral part of all our lives that it will be impossible for anyone to replace him. Who else could have such an iconic expression, explain things in such mind-numbing detail, or lead such a multi-talented team of geniuses? So here are the top 11 things you didn't know about the ACP:
1. Creation: 14 billion years ago, ACP told God: "Pata karo universe kaise banate hain!" The next day, there was light.
2. Bill Clinton's confession: Remember Lewinskygate? Bill Clinton went from saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" to "Yes, I did, and I'm sorry" within a month. Legend has it that ACP looked him in the eye, and Bill felt compelled to confess.
3. Political Correctness: ACP is not constipated. He just has trouble getting out the back door (hence the instruction "Daya, Darwaza Todd Do")
4. Impatience is a virtue: The second most impatient person in the world is someone in a long line outside a public bathroom and really needs to go and has a crying child with her who needs a diaper change. Numero Uno is, of course, ACP.
5. I just look constipated: Chacha Chaudhary's brain works faster than a computer. ACP's bowels work slower than an Indian Government Department.
6. Timeline and ACP wait for no man: ACP is the only one who knows why Facebook decided to make the transition from a people-centric, nice, safe profile to a date-centric, stalker-friendly timeline. He worked it out from one glimpse of the Facebook blue colour.
7. And on the seventh day, ACP didn't rest: ACP works as hard on a weekly basis to solve crimes as God did when He created the universe.
8. Explain even the most obvious detail: ACP couldn't manage short notes, so they invented the detailed essay type question. Now you know whom to blame!
9. Creation of Adam: If God had only followed the ACP right hand rule (see below), he could have reached out and touched Adam.
10. Que Siri Siri: The iPhone 6 will replace Siri with ACP Pradyuman. Siri knows you, but ACP knows you better Than you know yourself.
11. The Seventh Sense: When The Sixth Sense was released, ACP heard the movie being promoted on the radio. From this, he immediately thought "Kuchh to gadbad hai" and figured out the twist in the movie, all in six seconds.
Do you know something about ACP we didn't cover above? The Comments Section is waiting for you. Matlab, agar aapko pata hai ki laash gayi kahan, to aapki vishesh tippani ki sakht zaroorat hai. Nahi to poori zindagi sadte rehna jail mein.
What was the reason that an almost-perfect looking team India surrendered to the Lankan lions in the WC finals, you ask? Here are 5 probable reasons why we feel India lost:
India is a tiger at home, and a bacterium abroad. After our embarrassing performances in South Africa and New Zealand, questions are being asked about whether our team is truly ready to play a cricket match anywhere outside the sub-continent. We think there is light at the end of the tunnel - we think that these 6 ideas will help India rise from the ashes and become a tiger everywhere.
We're so worried about his recent string of crazy activities that we think he might go too far soon. He might do one of these things, for instance:
After Arnab Goswami took Rahul Gandhi’s case in an interview (there’s really no other way of putting it) on Monday, we think that Koffee with Karan is way too boring. If we wanted to know random celeb gossip, we’d just read their tweets. But the way Arnab grills people, you have to admire him
A few days after Jai Ho's release, it is apparent that Salman's latest film will not touch the heights achieved by Chennai Express, Krrish 3, or Dhoom 3. It might not even touch Dabangg-2 or Bodyguard, and this is in 2014, when every other film hits 100 crores domestically. So why did Jai Ho fail to break all the box office records we thought it would? We aren't sure, but here are a few reasons.
Air India finally did something to make us sit up and take notice. They announced that they would provide wi-fi facilities to people on board their aircraft. This is great, but we don't think they've thought through some of the funnier consequences of their decision.
There are three constants in life in India: the petrol prices will keep rising, Arnab and Manmohan will always be opposites, and Salman Khan movies will always stick to a formula. Whether he's a cop, a bodyguard, or an Aam Aadmi, he's basically Rajinikanth in a different body.