Valentine's Day is the most anticipated and the most feared day of the year. It creates such heavy emotional responses that it's good its only one day long. Just imagine what would happen if someone suddenly decided to make it one month long. The consequences would be horrific, and the world would probably not make it out of February alive. Just for fun, here are some things that we might expect to happen.
Salman Khan would be able to celebrate Valentine's Day with 28 different women, because one day seems to be the average length of his relationships these days
Rajinikanth would be completely OK with the one month Valentine's celebration, because he anyway celebrates it 366 days a year (even when it's not a leap year)
Sunny Leone would respond to the impassioned entreaties from fans of her previous work, and go back to starring in movies that end up in New Folders all across the world
MS Dhoni would use the larger window to demonstrate his love for Rohit Sharma, Ravindra Jadeja and BCCI’s Srinivasan, and they would all go on a private holiday to France
Sushilkumar Shinde would use the month of love to publicly proclaim his love and respect for our friendly terrorists across the border, and would send a record order of chocolates to Pakistan
Hearts in chat rooms would change throughout the month, from almost all <3 at the beginning, to almost all </3 at the end
All couples would break up by the middle of the month, because there's no way any relationship can survive
Young men across the world would become the class of people deepest in debt, surpassing the Greeks, Kingfisher Airlines and Rich Indian Kids
Roses would be replaced with grass as symbols of love, because there's no way everyone can buy a rose every day. There's just not enough money in the world
Being single on Valentine's month would suddenly become something to be envied, as everyone in a relationship would be broke, tense, busy, oversentimental and crazy
A lot of Senas across India would die of overwork, because harassing couples every day is likely to increase the BP to unacceptable levels
What was the reason that an almost-perfect looking team India surrendered to the Lankan lions in the WC finals, you ask? Here are 5 probable reasons why we feel India lost:
India is a tiger at home, and a bacterium abroad. After our embarrassing performances in South Africa and New Zealand, questions are being asked about whether our team is truly ready to play a cricket match anywhere outside the sub-continent. We think there is light at the end of the tunnel - we think that these 6 ideas will help India rise from the ashes and become a tiger everywhere.
We're so worried about his recent string of crazy activities that we think he might go too far soon. He might do one of these things, for instance:
After Arnab Goswami took Rahul Gandhi’s case in an interview (there’s really no other way of putting it) on Monday, we think that Koffee with Karan is way too boring. If we wanted to know random celeb gossip, we’d just read their tweets. But the way Arnab grills people, you have to admire him
A few days after Jai Ho's release, it is apparent that Salman's latest film will not touch the heights achieved by Chennai Express, Krrish 3, or Dhoom 3. It might not even touch Dabangg-2 or Bodyguard, and this is in 2014, when every other film hits 100 crores domestically. So why did Jai Ho fail to break all the box office records we thought it would? We aren't sure, but here are a few reasons.
Air India finally did something to make us sit up and take notice. They announced that they would provide wi-fi facilities to people on board their aircraft. This is great, but we don't think they've thought through some of the funnier consequences of their decision.
There are three constants in life in India: the petrol prices will keep rising, Arnab and Manmohan will always be opposites, and Salman Khan movies will always stick to a formula. Whether he's a cop, a bodyguard, or an Aam Aadmi, he's basically Rajinikanth in a different body.