Valentine's Day is the most anticipated and the most feared day of the year. It creates such heavy emotional responses that it's good its only one day long. Just imagine what would happen if someone suddenly decided to make it one month long. The consequences would be horrific, and the world would probably not make it out of February alive. Just for fun, here are some things that we might expect to happen.
Salman Khan would be able to celebrate Valentine's Day with 28 different women, because one day seems to be the average length of his relationships these days
Rajinikanth would be completely OK with the one month Valentine's celebration, because he anyway celebrates it 366 days a year (even when it's not a leap year)
Sunny Leone would respond to the impassioned entreaties from fans of her previous work, and go back to starring in movies that end up in New Folders all across the world
MS Dhoni would use the larger window to demonstrate his love for Rohit Sharma, Ravindra Jadeja and BCCI’s Srinivasan, and they would all go on a private holiday to France
Sushilkumar Shinde would use the month of love to publicly proclaim his love and respect for our friendly terrorists across the border, and would send a record order of chocolates to Pakistan
Hearts in chat rooms would change throughout the month, from almost all <3 at the beginning, to almost all </3 at the end
All couples would break up by the middle of the month, because there's no way any relationship can survive
Young men across the world would become the class of people deepest in debt, surpassing the Greeks, Kingfisher Airlines and Rich Indian Kids
Roses would be replaced with grass as symbols of love, because there's no way everyone can buy a rose every day. There's just not enough money in the world
Being single on Valentine's month would suddenly become something to be envied, as everyone in a relationship would be broke, tense, busy, oversentimental and crazy
A lot of Senas across India would die of overwork, because harassing couples every day is likely to increase the BP to unacceptable levels
Following elections in Delhi yesterday, exit polls point to the fact that the Congress is going to lose, and pretty badly. What a surprise. Not. Considering the Congress’ performance over the past few months, we’re sure pretty much ANYONE could have beaten them. Here are a few examples:
It's December, and that means we are in the holy month when Rajinikanth was born. On December 12, the man will turn 63, and his trillions of fans are
This week, we are gearing up to watch Prabhu Dheva’s next outing on the silver screen, ‘R…Rajkumar’ (RR). Starring Shahid Kapoor, who hasn’t exactly had the best career run in the past few years, and Sonakshi Sinha, the film looks promising. Here are a few tips for you to make sure you’re well-prepared for the film:
Yesterday was the season premiere of the fourth edition of Koffee with Karan, and it sure didn’t disappoint. Salman Khan, who was a guest on the first episode, claimed to be a virgin (he may as well have told us that pigs fly – there’s a higher probability of that actually being true)
Bullett Raja is authentic, fun, sometimes funny, violent. Yes, it has its flaws, but which movie doesn't? We found it to be a good addition to its genre, and well worth a light weekend watch. So now, we commemorate those instances when it was unintentionally funny with our LOL-scar awards:
Two days ago, the world was given an early Thanksgiving gift – the trailer of Sherlyn Chopra’s next, ‘Kamasutra 3D’. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that this film is going to be pretty damn terrible.
In the Encyclopedia Britannica entry for the word 'empty', they've used the picture of a Rahul Gandhi rally. RaGa's rallies have people leaving early for a reason, and that's why we're issuing a survival guide in public interest.