Another month, another Bandh. Like the last few we've seen, this one aims to fix everything that's wrong with India: it's a protest against disinvestment, FDI, inflation, labour laws...the list goes on. We welcome the holiday, but we think they need focus - if you ask for everything, you're likely to get exactly nothing.
And it's not like they're focusing on the real problems, either. According to us, they could be asking for better things. Here are just a few ideas:
India to win against Australia: After the whitewash more than a year ago, and the poor showing at home against England, things aren't looking too bright for Team India against Australia. Maybe we need to use the power of public opinion against our cricketers, to give them some motivation to play better.
Mamata to agree with someone: Didi is a miracle - she is the only person capable of aligning herself against every opinion there is. Case in point: she opposes this bandh as well, since she didn't call it. So if we have an indefinite bandh to make her become agreeable, and she opposes the bandh, she is essentially agreeing with our aim, and we all win.
Having pre-decided, regular bandhs: We have bandhs every so often, but they don't come with much of a warning. How much better it would be if we could earmark the first three days of every month as bandh days! Only, to make this happen, we would need a separate bandh to convince the Government.
Harlem Shake to beat 'Baby', too: Last year, Gangnam Style got more youtube views than Justin Bieber's 'Baby', thereby convincing us that there was still sense left in the world. We need more and more videos to beat the Biebs, and maybe he will retire. An entire country on strike might inspire the world to view Harlem Shake a few million more times.
2013 Bollywood to pick itself up: The movies released so far this year (with the exception of a Special one) have been disappointing, and the rest of the year might not be great, either, seeing as how it's filled with guaranteed classics like the return of Sunny Leone to non-XXX acting. We need a few classics, even if it's going to take a strike by everyone in the country to make it happen.
Justice Katju to do his work: Markandey Katju loves to talk about how we are all idiots, but has he done enough on his regular job, ensuring freedom of the press? Well, going by how a bunch of websites have been blocked by II*M (and how we had to use an asterisk out of fear right here), he hasn't. We need a national strike to convince this man to stop talking and start doing.
The Delhi gangrape victims to be sentenced quickly: It’s not rocket science – you have a set of people who have confessed to one of the most heinous crimes in recent history. You need to choose between 2-3 punishments. It shouldn’t take weeks; most people could probably do it in 15 minutes. India should shut down till those animals get what they deserve.
According to reports, 'Kamasutra 3D', with Sherlyn Chopra in the lead, is being considered for the Best Feature Film, Original Score and Original Songs in the 86th Academy Awards. Honestly, we are not sure how to express our feelings about this, except laughing uncontrollably.
The country is buzzing today because of two very different things. We feel that these two different things should be brought together, and that Virat Kohli should be made Lokpal Head.
We’ve all been closely following the story of how Indian deputy consul Devyani Khobragade was strip searched and handcuffed in the US. Below, we tell you some other ways in which India should get back at the US for treating someone like this:
We think that anyone willing to pay Rs. 900 for Dhoom:3 must be a special kind of stupid. In fact, if you are ready to pay that much for a ticket, here are some other things about you:
After a very long wait, we finally have a Salman Khan film coming our way again! We couldn’t contain our excitement when we saw that the ‘Jai Ho’ trailer was launching over the weekend. We watched the trailer. And watched it again. And again.
To say that ‘The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug’ (DoS) was an awesome movie would be an understatement.
After the Supreme Court upheld the controversial Article 377, the public backlash has been immense. Most people think that the judgement is completely against basic human rights, and that it is a black spot in India's growth as a nation. The Court's ruling is so bizarre that we really don't know what they will do next.