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The LOL-ster

The LOL-ster

Of wisecracks, giggle-fests and all things that tickle your funny bone

BBM almost came to Android and iOS this past weekend. Of course, there was a launch-time glitch leading to postponement but, knowing Blackberry in the past few years, we're lucky there was even a leaked version at all! And we're sure that BBM will come to Android and iOS, any time in the next 10 years.

So, when BBM comes to Android, what gifts should Google give RIM? After all, Google is a nice, polite company, so we might expect it to give Blackberry something in return. Here are the return gifts that might be most useful to the struggling company:

1. Long life: Blackberry is slightly less healthy currently than a patient who has been on life support for 4 years with no hope of recovery. Whereas Android looks like it will exist even when all our great-grandchildren are toothless. If it could give BB some of its long life and health - even 2 years of it - that would probably be the best return gift.

2. Young users: Android phones are the trendiest things there are. We're pretty sure that babies will soon be given an Android phone when they start speaking. Whereas Blackberries are mainly owned by people who are looking to change their phone, and by 55 year old corporate executives who like it. Android needs to make Blackberry cool again, somehow!

3. Users at all: Looking at the last point, it looks like we're saying BB needs only young users. However, financially, it should welcome any users, from the homeless man on your street corner to the tech noob who knows nothing about phones. If Android starts an NGO to help BB, that might do the trick.

4. Time travel: Android is the OS of 2013 and beyond. BB is the OS of 2010 and previous. In return for the BBM coming to Google Play, Android could just tell BB how to live in the now.

5. A proper marketplace: Google Play is like a market in India - loud, crowded, and filled to the brim with fascinating things. Blackberry World is so small and obscure that most people don't even know its name. BB definitely needs some help on this front.

6. Speed and performance: Every successive Android version introduces us to lightning quickness and less lag. Every successive BB version teaches us more and more patience - when our phones freeze. Google needs to give BB something like a virtual version of Viagra; speed and performance guaranteed.

7. Cool names for versions: Would you rather listen to Ice Cream Sandwich and Jellybean or 1.0, 2.0, 3.0.... 10.0? Even if Android has to tell RIM to call its BB versions Strawberry, Raspberry, and so on, it's better than a series of numbers!

What do you think BB can learn from Android? Tell us in the Comments Section!

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