All things come to an end. But all these years, we never thought Sachin was one of them. However, after a string of poor performances, and Dravid, VVS and Ponting retiring, calls for the greatest of them all to call it a day are getting louder. There are even some people who are saying that the reason the world will end on 21 December is that Sachin will announce his retirement that day, and Mother Earth will self-destruct at the sad prospect of never seeing him play again.
We feel that all this is short sighted. There are temporary dips in performance, but he has always bounced back before, and his very presence on the field is an inspiration. He scored 76 against England in the third test match at Eden Gardens and we think he should play as long as he wants to; after all, the number of Indian cricket fans will halve after he hangs up the boots. In support of Sachin, here are some deadlines for his retirement; he should end his career only after all of these come true.
Sachin should retire after MSD is able to get the pitch he needs: Dhoni can’t seem to give curators the right instructions. For the third Test, he’s probably asked for a pitch that helps Bhajji as much as it does Monty, a pitch that is a bowling pitch when India is bowling and a batting pitch when England is bowling, a pitch that has the line of leg-stump drawn on it so that the umpires don’t make mistakes -- and that still might not work. When he’s able to get the pitch right, we might be able to do without Sachin.
Sachin should retire after we fans learn to accept a loss: When Team India loses, we plunge into acute depression; our relationships, work life, bank balance, and blood alcohol level all suffer. When we are able to deal with the pain of failure, we can do without our God.
Sachin should retire after the Rajya Sabha completes one week without adjournment: After all, he’s an RS MP now.
Sachin should retire after Rajinikanth delivers a flop: And we all know that Jism 2 would have been a superhit if Rajini had acted in it, even as an extra in a single scene.
Sachin should retire after you can make a politically incorrect public post on Facebook without being sent to jail in India
Sachin should retire after MMS performs in concert: When MMS headlines a three hour show that consists of him speaking and/or singing all the time, it’s probably time for Sachin to go.
Sachin should retire after the Ponty Chadha case is solved: Confused witnesses, new facts, police pre-occupation just after the crime with Bal Thackeray - we need an ACP or a ghost prostitute to solve the case, real-life investigators just won’t do.
Sachin should retire after Khiladi 786 gets 11 Oscars
Sachin should retire after Sunny Leone shifts careers: And makes a devotional video or an instructional video talking about how to choose women-empowering roles in movies.
Sachin should retire after some company creates a door that cannot be broken by Daya: And thereby saves our poor, endangered darwazas from extinction.
We need more such deadlines so that Sachin can play for us forever! Tell us in the comments section.
(Photo courtesy: Getty Images)
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