Justalkin Episode 83: Anushka Sharma in Ae Dil hai Mushkil, Poo in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham; types of girlfriends you should avoid
We did an episode on the kind of Bollywood boyfriends you should avoid. Now, this one’s for the boys. We’ve all watched enough Bollywood. Have you thought about how it teaches you what kind of girlfriends to avoid? This is JusTalkin brought to you by in.com. Bollywood loves its women! Even if it’s a story about a man, there’s still the angle with a woman. Some people think they’re unnecessary additions, that they objectify women. But I look at it differently. It’s like they don’t trust men enough! They don’t think a man can single-handedly keep you engaged for 120 minutes! A woman can do for you in 10 minutes what a man can’t in two hours! There are pretty women, there are smart women, there are women who can kick your ass, but they're also annoying women, confused women, just way too many women sometimes. It’s not enough to just watch a film and forget about it. They’re supposed to make you think. And Bollywood introduces you to a whole variety of women. It’s like a thesis on female behavior that you get to analyze by just sitting on a couch. Can’t get easier than that. Now, gentlemen, here are the types of Bollywood heroines you can avoid in real life.
You know girls are self-obsessed when they care more about their outfit than what they’re saying or doing. Bollywood example? Poo from K3G. It’s Karan Johar, we know how much he loves to exaggerate but Poo was just way over the top! I’ve honestly never met anyone so narcissistic in real life. She takes hours to get ready, has two sidekicks whose only job seems to be to feed her ego, and has a fancy car because even though it’s London her immigrant brother-in-law somehow do so well financially she can buy all of these things. She makes fun of people for repeating outfits. Where would we be if we had someone like that at our workplace? I’d spike her green tea, honestly. But it’s so Bollywood, it’s like a switch goes off in her head when she wants Hrithik Roshan’s character to like her! She becomes this ideal girl who’s nice to everyone. Where’s your personality lady? Also, Sonam Kapoor in Aisha. She spends other people’s money - mostly her dad’s - so she can give her friend a makeover. Now you’ll argue that she was only trying to help someone. Not at the cost of killing their style! It’s okay to be a shopaholic. If you like judging a book by its cover, go right ahead!
Ask any millennial about the place they’re scared of the most. It’s not Area 51. It’s not any political border. It’s the dreaded ‘Friend Zone!’. It’s like substitutes in football. You know you wanna be in on the action. But you have to wait for the go-ahead. Bollywood examples? Anushka Sharma in Ae Dil Hai Mushkil. She plays a girl named Alizeh. She enjoys putting Ranbir Kapoor’s character in the friend zone. Boys, you don’t need to do that. Learn from his mistakes. Also Sonam Kapoor from Raanjhanaa. The boy that Dhanush plays makes it so obvious that he’s into her, but she calls him her friend, asks him to get her out of an arranged marriage, even if it meant defaming an innocent doctor, starting a potential communal issue, and the chances of him being her boyfriend after that literally zero. Although this guy had it coming, he was a borderline stalker! But if you sense that you’re entering a friendzone, leave!
The ones who can’t make up their minds.
At least the friend zone means you might have a chance later. It’s better than having to deal with someone who can’t even decide if she wants to friendzone you! Bollywood example? Deepika Padukone from Break Ke Baad. She moves to Australia, wanting to leave her past behind. But she also wants a piece of whatever she left back home. She wants to be with her boyfriend but also wants to be single and mingle. To be fair, she’d probably have moved on faster and made up her mind if that boyfriend in question had just left her alone. Shraddha Kapoor’s character in Half Girlfriend! First of all, it was half an idea that Chetan Bhagat had, and nobody on earth would’ve complained if a movie wasn’t made. But of course, they made one! She cannot make up her mind if she wants to be with a guy from a village, while she herself is a fancy Delhiite. Must be a tough choice. You’d have to give up Starbucks for the local chai guy. Give up visits to Hauz Khas and live in a house that’s not so khaas. She said she’d be his half girlfriend. I’ve heard a lot of labels. Polyamory, polyfidelity, solo poly, open, but half girlfriend beats them all. If you ask a girl out and she invents a whole new style of relationship just for you guys, can’t be a good sign.
Running towards trouble
Let’s face it, life isn’t really a Bollywood movie. Even if you work out six days a week, it does NOT prepare you to take on goons in real life. So avoid the kind of girlfriend who’s always running towards trouble! Like Parineeti Chopra in Ishaqzaade. If she belongs to a family involved in politics, that’s a sure shot sign that trouble will follow. You cannot mess around. You risk getting shot at. It’s great when you like a woman with her own mind, she knows what she wants and gets it. She’ll know what she wants to eat, she’ll know which restaurant you can go to, but if her dad thinks she can’t pick who she likes, and you’re not a trained Kung Fu warrior, then just take a U-turn. Honestly, we all have troubles of our own, so you don’t really have to run towards a girl who’s actually running towards trouble. Because chances are, she loves the high of being in trouble way more than she loves you!
The one that loves substances
You should love a woman of substance! Not a woman who loves substances. Bollywood example? Kangana Ranaut in Fashion. She’s at the top of her game, she is this sought after supermodel, but then she lets drugs get the better of her, and makes friends based on how much you can score for her. If she says she loves powder and you’re not sure she’s talking about talcum powder, run. But! If you’re the reason she got into substances in the first place, you better fix it! Remember Zeenat Aman in Hare Rama Hare Krishna? She runs away from home and gets with the hippies, her brother goes on a long trip to find her, only to discover that she’s on her own trip. But if you aren’t making music and singing like her though, do you even deserve to be on that trip?
The obsessed one
We love stories of women who’re chasing after their dreams and are obsessed with reaching their goals and achieving what they set out to. But what if the thing they’re obsessing after is you? Bollywood examples? Aishwarya Rai in Devdas. Yes, she had to sacrifice her love but keeping one lamp lit for years and years without a break! If she’d spent all that time studying she’d probably have graduated and become qualified enough to work instead of her um having had to marry her off to the first rich dude she found. If a girl swears she’ll spend hours and hours watching over something for you, just know that she’d obsessed. Also Karishma Kapoor in Andaz. She has the hots for her teacher, and it’s really disturbing because she’s just a child in that movie, technically. If you have a job and you notice some minor making a move on you, run.
The ignorant ones
They say ignorance is bliss. There’s a big difference between being uninformed, and being ignorant when it comes to love. Case in point? Rani Mukherji in Paheli. You can’t see a 180-degree flip overnight in your husband or wife! If it looks like your partner has changed way too much, you have to double-check! It might just be a ghost! Rani Mukerji’s character doesn’t know that at all! But anyway, if you’re dating a girl and a ghost suddenly appears and pretends to be you, just walk away from your girlfriend. Because she’d probably pick the ghost, and then ghost you. Also Dia Mirza in Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein. She doesn’t even know the guy she’s dating! Yes, you should feel bad for her but come on, it wasn’t like it was the 1920s where you couldn’t find out somebody’s background! If she believes your fake identity, she’ll probably believe those fake callers who’ll ask her for her credit card number and CVV and OTP. Educate her, and just walk away.
The ones with tyrannical relatives
You can deal with the girls themselves. But a girl with tyrannical relatives? Tough. Bollywood examples? Kajol in DDLJ. It’s supposed to be one of the greatest love stories that ever came out of Bollywood. And it just wouldn’t be the same if her dad was this chill guy who actually cared about his daughter’s happiness. Then there’s Rani Mukerji in Saathiya. A dad so strict, you could get married but still not tell anybody. Till she picks the most inopportune moment and then puts everyone in trouble. The worst one yet has to be Deepika Padukone in Ram Leela. If her relatives walk around with guns, just stay the hell away! Her infatuation with a guy from the enemy camp kept getting other people killed in the process! And just when you think she’s stupid for getting so many people killed, she kills herself and the lover boy. If you aren’t willing to take a bullet in your side, run.
You can never tell what a girl is really like if you meet each other on an app. So maybe the trick is to ask her what her favorite Bollywood movie is, chances are she’s like the female protagonist, and that’ll give you a fair idea of what she’s really like, and you can make your next move. Or, meet her, take it as it goes, and get set to be the Bollywood hero in her story. Because let’s face it. Drama is in everybody’s lives. This is JusTalkin brought to you by in.com.Read More