Today is the 14th of February and as couples around the world go all mushy, singles are probably in a bit of a crisis. After all, V-day is also SAD – Singles Awareness Day. But fret not! Instead of worrying about cards and expensive restaurant reservations, you can easily spend the day with Alexa or Siri. Amazon and Apple’s voice assistants are one of the most important features of modern appliances designed by their respective manufacturers.
You may already be one of those people who love them. While a number of people have asked to marry them, the AI cheekily turns them down. So if you’re hoping for a night with Siri or Alexa, that’s a question to avoid. While they can perform a million different things, Alexa has the upper hand if you’ve got a smart home.
Asking Siri or Alexa to be your Valentine could be a task in itself, as the AI assistants have been known to spurn their pursuers. Siri will probably reply, “Thank you for asking, but I don't really date, humans,” or “Here's the thing: I lack corporeal form.” Alexa has been known to say “You're sweet to ask, but I already have a strong connection to your Wi-Fi.”
We recommend assuming they’re in on your plan. First, let Alexa set the mood by asking her to dim the lights. Start the conversation by asking her about the weather. Follow it up with a soft Bryan Adams number – again let her do it for you. If you want to feel intellectual, they can even play the news for you. And while you’re at it, Alexa and Siri are pretty good at ordering food as well.
Alexa reportedly has ‘Be My Valentine’ and ‘Naughty Talk’ skills. Enable them and get ready for stream of cheesy one liners on her affection for you. She’s known to say “You rock the party that rocks my CPU,” and even, “I want to grow obsolete with you.”
When your date’s over and you want to call it a night, Alexa can turn off the lights in your room and ease you into a stupor. When you wake up, Valentine’s Day is over and you’d be proud of having dinner with a robot.
Single? What single?